Time For Resolutions

At the end of every year many people world wide like to think up a resolution to accomplish by the end of the next year. I am one of those people, though for the life of me I can’t think of what my resolution was last year – guess that’s a sure sign I didn’t stick with it, LOL! This year though, I must admit I’ve been doing a lot of contemplation over what would be the best goal to make for myself to accomplish by the end of 2012. I’ve probably put a lot more serious thought into this year’s resolution then I have in previous years. Maybe that’s a good sign for me that I’ll actually stick with it this time around. I’m taking some things with myself more seriously though and I think this coming year should be about working on two main areas in my life, my work and my health. My work in regards to laying more ground work on what I hope to accomplish long term as a writer. I want to get myself to write a lot more frequently in this blog of mine, as well as work harder on getting my first novel done. I want to further educate myself on being a better writer – and challenge myself to do so as well. That may seem like a small goal to make to some, but really in the broader sense of it – I have a lot of work ahead of me. Work that will be hard in ways, but I am confident enough that I will accomplish what I am setting out to do. 

Watch Those Kids!

I feel I should preface this post with the fact that I do not have children. Despite the fact that I have been an active aunt for many years, I’m also not going to delusion myself in thinking I know what it’s like to take the kids out while you run errands or do your holiday shopping. I will say that I do think there are sadly, a lot of parents out there who need to learn to actually keep an eye on their children while out and about – especially during such busy shopping seasons as we are in now. There are people who are moving up and down the aisles at a constant rate these days in the stores hunting for the perfect gifts for family and friends. Needless to say, it’s a hectic season and one where we should all perhaps do our best to be cordial and considerate to those around us while out in public. How people behave generally in stores though is not my main concern here.

While at a local Meijer store today with a friend of mine who was doing a bit of holiday shopping, I turned in an aisle to go off and find a scanner to price check something. As soon as I turned around my foot caught to something that nearly sent me flying forward. Thankfully I was able to catch my balance and not fall flat on my face in the aisle. However, I felt completely and utterly awful to say the least when I turned around to see what I had tripped over and spotted a startled little girl. I immediately apologized up and down to the poor child and inquired to her if she was okay. I turned around to who I presume was the child’s mother who nonchalantly told me it was okay, even as I apologized to her as well. I found myself feeling just horrid of the event as I slinked my way past the parents out of the aisle apologizing again on my way out of it. As I made my way out of the aisle I couldn’t help noticing that nobody walked over to the child I tripped over to check on her. It seemed the parents of this little girl had just gone back to yakking with someone else in the aisle.

Blank Canvas

Have you ever taken a good hard look at yourself? I mean really give yourself a good hard honest examination? I have numerous times over the years or so I thought. Lately I’ve been taking the time to really examine myself, not just the things I want in life, but who I am as a person. Taking more notice to the things I like, things I feel, life around me and how I feel about myself generally. In the past I’ve been so easy to cut myself and focus only on the negative aspects. I thought that was what it meant to be honest with myself. Most recently, I have found myself able to actually compliment myself on some things and not just cut to the negative. I can see positive things about me now as well. For example, though I still crave cigarettes almost daily and have the occasional smoking dream – I’m proud of myself for quitting and going longer then a year and a half. It’s actually almost been two years with the anniversary in this coming February. I’m not proud to admit this, but I smoked off and on for ten years, more on then off, but regardless it was a struggle with an addiction that I didn’t like having. So in the past, I would cut myself down with terms like “weak” and “pathetic” for allowing something to sort of take over and get as bad as it did. Now though, as I sit back and take a good hard look at myself, I can honestly pat myself on the back, because quitting smoking has been one of the hardest self hurdles I’ve had to endure and I can definitely sympathize that it’s not easy to put the pack and lighter down.

Upcoming Birthday

Perhaps now is the time for me to let out some over exaggerated sigh. Lean into some archway and over dramatically throw wrist to forehead with a sad “whoa-is-me” type of gesture. Why the dramatics today? Well, my birthday is looming just around the corner; in fact it’s this coming Saturday – November 12^th. It’s not that I dread getting older, I sort of embrace aging. Which may seem rather odd for a woman, but I do. Sure I have my days where I wish I could go back and start over at a much younger age, but over all I really like the idea of getting older. I’m not however looking forward to turning into an odd number. I’ll be 27 this year in case you’re curious and to be perfectly honest I would must rather just skip ahead and be 28. Okay, I guess this is where I take a pause and assure you that yes; I am a freak who prefers even numbers. Maybe that’s weird of me, but I’ve always just had a thing for even numbers. I don’t like being an odd number; I obviously deal with it as I have no choice, but none the less I would just skip ahead and be 28 already if I could choose to avoid being an uneven number.

Another thing I don’t like about knowing my birthday is approaching is I always get to thinking about what I haven’t accomplished in life. This year feels different though. Sure, I’m nowhere near where I thought I would be at this age. However, I feel more prepared now to get out of my comfort zone that has admittedly, caused myself to hold back from a lot in life. I guess in a lot of ways you could call me a late bloomer and someone who hasn’t exactly been the most friendly to change. That is something about myself I’ve always strongly disliked, but I’ve been working more progressively to change that about myself and just move forward. Now more then ever, I have much clearer goals and a much stronger frame of mind regarding what I want in life. I feel a lot more prepared to get off my butt and seriously work on conquering lifelong goals. Hard work is definitely the only way I can accomplish what I want to do and best believe I am ready to face it as much work as I need to. I know now more then ever that I just need to throw myself out there and not give up on myself. Which, I will now further admit of myself – I’ve done quite often in the past. I’ll also admit that I’ve battled depression, which most certainly has not been an easy thing to overcome in life. That though, shall be saved for discussion on another day. Today, we are discussing this upcoming odd numbered birthday.

Taste Of Texas

It’s always a pleasure when the opportunity to open your ears to something new arrives. Whether that something new is from an up and coming artist who’s fresh out on the market, or someone that’s been on the music scene for awhile and you’ve only just discovered their sound. For me I’ve had the pleasure recently to stumble upon a Texas treasure known as P.J. Price, with her smooth vocal style and country sound. To me her style feels like an old school basic country. It’s not oversold with the pop culture that seems to be seeping into mainstream country over the past decade. P.J. certainly provides a real vibe in her music style that you can leave you doing a small toe tap or just sit back and relax with. While she’s most certainly not the mainstream type, with two albums under her belt she’s definitely earned her awards on the independent music scene. Her self titled debut album released in 1994 earned her awards including “Album of the Year” and “Best Female Indie of the Year” of that same year with the European Country Music Association. With the success of her album, Miss Price was not only able to partake in a large European tour, but also broke ground as an independent artist for being first to have four of her singles from the debut album circulate in the Top 20 at the same time with the ‘European – American – Asian Entertainment Network’ charts. It certainly is no surprise though that her album took on such recognition when you open your ears and really listen to this woman belt out her songs. Most of which she wrote herself.

K-Dub's Home Run

Firstly I must admit I have been a Kendra Wilkinson fan since season one of The Girls Next Door, where she was featured as one of Hugh Hefner’s three girlfriends. Furthermore, I will totally admit I found her positively enchanting and felt she offered something a bit more fun and real on the show. I didn’t watch her and feel like I was watching something scripted and annoying. To be completely open and honest here, I pretty much had loathed all reality television until watching The Girls Next Door. Now while I can’t say what it was exactly that pulled me in to start with, I can say I quickly grew fond of all three girls. Though, Wilkinson was always a personal favorite on it. So I’m sure you can imagine my excitement when she came out with her spin-off series simply titled, Kendra. All of that alone, would likely make the impression that I would simply just eat up anything she put out into the world. I however, was almost nervous about actually reading her life story despite how excited I was when it was released back in July of 2010 – and all the way leading up until I was finally able to attain a copy recently. The problem was that no matter how ‘real’ she came across to me on her shows, in interviews and how much I had grown to simply adore her – there was a part of me that had honestly been prepared to read a lot of fluff and silliness.

Never Forget 9/11

Ten years ago today I was sound asleep, comfortable and safe in my own bed. My father knocked on my door and stirred me slightly from the deep sleep I had found myself in, mentioned something of a plane in New York and left my room. I was so out of it then, I could not tell you how much he had said or what exactly he had said at all really. I do remember it didn’t sit well with me though, because it just didn’t make sense. The whole thing just seemed very strange and felt quite unsettling. Of course that naturally woke me up from the slumber I had been in and provoked me to make my way down the stairs in my childhood home. I found members of my immediate family sitting with eyes wide open (some with tears) in shock looking to the television screen in the living room. Something pulled at my heart strings, before I even knew what they were watching. I remember I ran into my dad pretty quickly once I was down the steps and asked him what he had said about a plane in New York – and that’s when my father told me and I finally understood how our country was attacked. My heart instantly sank and I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. I ended up bawling my eyes out that day and several to follow; not only for my country – as I am a proud American, but for people I didn’t even know who were involved directly at ‘ground zero’. I could not begin to imagine the horror those people had to undertake that day, as well as the days following.

What’s Perfection Any Old Way?

Perfect. The word stands alone for meaning something that seems so unattainable in the broader sense of things. Of course as individuals it’s often easy to have our own version of perfection in life. To make our own guidelines to what makes something so ‘perfect’ in our eyes. Unfortunately, sometimes we strive so hard for that level of perfection that we refuse to allow the natural course of trial and error to enter willingly in our lives. That refusal can only cause more error in the long haul as inevitably, it’s completely unavoidable. We all make mistakes and we all must either choose whether or not we learn from them as we go along. It’s not always easy to swallow these potential mistakes, but it’s something all humans have in common – whether one wants to admit that or not. I personally have sat down so many times within the last week wanting to write up the “perfect” first entry for this new website of mine. I wanted to broadcast this awe inspiring clear message of revelations, reflections and readiness. A how I got to this point in my life and why writing is so important to me type of tale. Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion it is best to swallow down my prideful moment and accept that any readers I may attain on this journey of mine may not always get “perfection” from me. I am human after all – and though I have been writing for many years now, I still make plenty of mistakes.